Hey Lloyd, you've got some running time flab here - partly because you're using cross-dissolves when hard edits would do; and also; just cut all that walking, walking, walking section out; cut directly from the 'photo required' detail to him arriving at the photo booth - see how it will enliven the pace and cut out some of the marshmallow. Also - it's not entirely clear what happens in the end, as the photo that finally represents him doesn't show him in anyway musically? That said, you've got some nice stuff in here - but I think there are a number of places when you could simply make the story-telling tighter... give it a go.
I will be adding a intro to it :)
ReplyDeleteHey Lloyd, you've got some running time flab here - partly because you're using cross-dissolves when hard edits would do; and also; just cut all that walking, walking, walking section out; cut directly from the 'photo required' detail to him arriving at the photo booth - see how it will enliven the pace and cut out some of the marshmallow. Also - it's not entirely clear what happens in the end, as the photo that finally represents him doesn't show him in anyway musically? That said, you've got some nice stuff in here - but I think there are a number of places when you could simply make the story-telling tighter... give it a go.
ReplyDeletehaha this really made me laugh Lloyd! :D
ReplyDeleteIt made me laugh :)To make it clearer you could add arows for the movement? but all in all its looking good!
ReplyDelete